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MAH MAH.. I am standing in the training camp.. and I see you coming over from the Fence.. the Big Crown on the Top of your Head.. and the White Dress.. as I see you walk alone.. YOU take my breathe away.. and I can feel my Heart beating so fast.. and as YOU come to meet me in the Center of the training camp.. the New Recruits.. over 200 men are standing by.. as YOU stop.. in my hands is the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I am standing looking at YOU as I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I do not need this any more.. but Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have to always remember that when you were Never around.. this was the Only THING that Held my Heart because whenever I missed YOU.. this was the Only thing that helped me through the way.. When I was left alone for a Long time.. this was the Only thing.. it may Not be anything special to YOU.. It may not be any of the importance to YOU.. YOU may just look at it as a paper.. that someone drew long ago.. and it may only seems like the past piece of Art.. but to Me.. it has many memories of loving YOU.. many Memories of Looking UP at the Moon.. standing Alone in the Nights.. there was SUN.. but also there was the MOON.. there was a time when Winter came by and it be very cold outside.. when times I saw the falling of the rain.. when I lost my Father.. and I felt my Heart broke all the way.. when I could Not see YOU and even the BOY who drew this Picture.. How he had to sneak into the Palace gates and How from the Far he drew YOU.. who got caught and arrested.. He was beaten and Put to death.. telling me that this is for me and knowing that HE wishes that My Dreams came true and that ALL this did Not mean Nothing to Me as he died by the Sword.. Even the Older MAN.. who was the teacher in my Life saw this Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU who knew WHO you are.. but told me to GO.. and to Protect YOU and to defend the Nation which it belongs to YOU and this Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU was the main reason WHY I could go On.. when I was at the Garden.. and I saw YOU there for the first TIME.. I wanted that Boy to draw.. of course I knew it be just too late to call HIM.. when I saw YOU by the gates of the Garden and I walked Out and saw YOU.. I wanted to ask YOU.. Can you Please draw another or Give me another Picture from the Art Sketch.. but.. when YOU left.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Day you left the Garden is when I knew the Only thing I had was this.. and my arms would lift as my hands are Holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. it was only this I had because I knew.. I was Not sure if I could ever see YOU again.. when I would see YOU again was my thoughts.. going UP the Hill and standing by the tree below was the Garden and Across I would see the palace.. and Knowing that is the Place where YOU at.. I wanted to Go.. I wanted to be close to YOU.. but what if I am NOT ALLOWED to get in and be put into the Prison instead.. But.. I made UP my mind.. I can die tomorrow and I will say I love YOU.. I can die the few days Later.. as Long there is still a Breathe IN me.. I know I can still Believe in Loving YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. and I do remember leaving the Garden after I made UP my Mind.. in the Snow walking and knowing How cold it was.. and knowing I could die A lot sooner.. I felt the Last Push of my body as I kept on walking through the SNOW.. I was thinking of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am not sure How much More I have in Me.. But I will still try to go to YOU and I kept on walking in the Snow and I felt my body.. it could NOT go no more and I fell down in the Snow.. I kept on thinking of YOU until the last breathe saying I am so sorry I might Not make It.. As I was on the Guard.. watching the Post at Night.. and How I became the Palace guard guarding the back gates.. I do remember pulling the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. and LOOKING.. I been needing to LOOK.. thinking of YOU.. saying to this Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. YOU may not hear my voice be telling YOU but I say it as I look at YOU.. that I love YOU.. do you know How much I love YOU and I would hold the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture close to my Heart.. to my Chest.. I wish that I be holding YOU instead but.. it be this paper instead.. someone telling me that Behind me is the Chamber of Your ROOM.. and I remember I turn back to LOOK.. I saw YOU.. looking Out from the patio of the Chamber of Your ROOM.. the MOON was Out.. I would LOOK UP at.. I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. can YOU see me.. I am here and it has been such a Long time coming.. and Now.. I know that I do Not need this Piece of Paper.. the Art Sketch paper any more.. I want to see YOU take this from Me.. Now I am here close to YOU.. I told the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. Once I meet YOU.. I can Now send it away and give it to YOU because it belongs to YOU.. it has come to the right Person WHO I love the Most.. so Please take this from Me because I am giving YOU my Heart.. My Heart is in it because it is YOU who I never forgotten.. and I see YOU LOOKING at me.. as I am on two Knees.. My Head is Looking on the floor.. my arms raise with the Paper.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. Please take this From me because I don't need it any more.. why do I need it when I see YOU here.. there is NO POINT for me to have because it is YOU.. I see your hands take the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and my tears.. it starts to flow Out of both eyes of me.. I can finally let that Piece of Paper GO and allow the Boy to finally rest in Piece.. the Seven Friends of Mine would walk together and they would all stand Behind.. the two Knees and Heads look on the floor.. arms straight Out.. and I see YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Now One of the Guards comes and has a Torch in the Hand and Gives to YOU.. and I see YOU Burn it with the Fire and It becomes the Ashes before my eyes.. I just can't believe It.. and as I see YOU looking down.. I see you with a SMILE.. and I smile back because it means everything to Me.. YOU are truly everything to Me.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH means everything to me.. and I hear something.. I hear foot steps walking.. and I see you Crown Princess turn Around and Comes.. the 2nd Rank General is coming.. and there is Seven Other Lower Generals walking behind Him and the Eight stops next to YOU.. the 2nd RANK General with the seven generals all goes to the two Knees.. Heads all lowers looking to the floor.. Arms come out straight forward.. and I see YOU LOOKING at HIM.. pulling Out your Sword.. the 2nd Rank General speaks to YOU and it is about Me.. and How he knows me.. He has beaten me before.. and Now.. wants to fight me.. and YOU would turn to LOOK at me.. and Point the sword at Me.. I lift UP my Head and I look over.. and I DO remember.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. I will accept the Challenge.. and I see YOU walk back and as I am looking at the 2nd Rank General.. I remember when I first Came to the training Camp.. when He just became the General.. and I just got into the camp.. as I would stand UP.. the Seven of my Friends all stood behind Me.. and the 2nd Rank General Stands UP.. and the Seven of the Lower rank Generals all stands UP.. and I would look at HIM.. and I would PULL out the sword.. and I knew that He beat me Once.. and I would say.. YOU did WIN last time.. but this TIME.. it be very Different.. and I would turn to LOOK at YOU.. and I raise UP my arm and the Seven Friends all would back way.. and the 2nd Rank General PULLS out his Sword.. but this time.. it is NOT about WIN with the sticks.. it is all about the Sword.. DO or DIE.. and I would run.. holding with the Sword in my hand and I jump into air and I would swing my arm holding the Sword and jump up again shouting louder and swinging the arm with the sword in my Hand.. as I am In the Line.. the Guard at the Table looks and YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I just can't believe that it is YOU.. and as YOU stand by the table.. YOU look at the two Letters.. one is the Official Seal with a Stamp of the Name of the OLDER MAN.. the Commander of the King.. PEH HA.. and the Other is the written Letter from Me giving to YOU through the years what I had to deal to get to YOU.. and I see you reading the Letter.. the New Friend was with me and He also gives the Official Seal with the stamp of his Father.. the Commander and I am holding the Sword of my Grand father and the Friend is holding His Father's sword and YOU look at the two swords and YOU look at the Guard to let us inside.. and I just cannot believe it.. it has been this Long.. and Now I am here.. I am at the Camp.. this training camp Only the YOUNG NEW RECRUITS can pass the exam of the military Arts.. but by the seal.. the official Seal and stamp.. and I would fall.. both on my two knees.. with the New Friend.. both on the two Knees.. heads are looking on the ground.. and arms straight forward.. CROWN PRINCESS.. we are here.. have made it to the Camp.. I thought I had to wait another Year.. but even Next year would be NO Promise.. since the Line is so Long.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. I just wanted to say thank YOU.. and I see YOU stand.. in your hands are the Official Seals and stamps.. as YOU would pull out the sword and Point to me.. I would lift UP my Head and I turn to LOOK at YOU and I would say.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why did YOU not come to the Garden.. DO you know that I been waiting

MAH MAH.. Place.. I saw a WHOLE NEW WORLD because it was YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who rescued the Broken and Lost.. the Poor people and has rebuild everything into something New.. I saw re building of the Garden.. I wanted to see YOU.. Crown Princess.. I wanted to see YOU.. I would wonder.. where is the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. without YOU it would never been re build at that Garden.. Lives changed because YOU came.. sick people became healthy and they started to eat well.. Planters and farmers came together.. giving a New Life of meaning to Live.. I sat.. and I was looking for YOU.. But YOU never came.. because YOU did Not come back to the Garden.. and I wanted to say something., say thank YOU.. but YOU never came that is NOW I have come.. NOW I have come to protect YOU and to defend YOU.. LOOK at the Official Seal.. and LOOK at the Stamp on the Paper I gave YOU WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Older MAN.. the Teacher who taught me for Many Years.. He told me that He fought for this Nation.. with My Grand father.. together as Brothers At War.. they both joined hands together and has protected your Father.. the KING PEH HA.. He is the One who taught me through these years of the Art of Swordsmanship and to shoot arrows and TOLD me stories of the Battles He had to face.. many died by the Sword of His with my Grand father's sword too.. protecting this NATION and to protect.. the Teacher knows that I loved YOU.. I showed HIM the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I showed him that Picture.. drawing picture and that I wanted to be the ONE to protect YOU and to defend the Nation.. and the Older man.. the Teacher started to show Me how to WIN the Battles of the War because He has experienced and has passed DOWN the Knowledge and the experiences to me with his Son.. Now I came here for this very reason.. TO protect YOU and to defend the Nation and to tell YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS how much I love YOU..I want to see you Success.. My Heart as the Loyal Slave.. as the Servant.. as the Low Born which My Father was the Head of the Servant.. as I am sitting in the Small room.. the Older Man.. the Teacher gave me a small table and I am with a Paper.. with the Ink I would write to the Crown Princess.. MAH MAH.. I have been living in this Place.. the Older man who has become my Teacher has told me that He wanted me as the Son.. so I have become his adopted Son.. and He has been teaching me for Years.. and I would be looking at the Pen Brush and dip into the Ink Pot.. I have never stopped dreaming of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I have been practicing the Art of Swordsmanship.. and Also the Archer Shooting.. the Older man who has become the Teacher.. He would spend Hours helping me to learn this Military Arts and has told me to write a Letter to the Crown Princess.. so I am about to leave this Place with the Official Letter which was sealed with his Stamp allowing me to step Out and go forward.. telling me that through the Years.. He has watched me grow my skills of the Art of swordsmanship and the practice tactic of the Military Arts and with this Official Letter seal that I am able to pass over and go into the Training Camp without going into the training ground.. He has revealed to me that He was an EX COMMANDER for the King.. he was at the Most Highest Place in the ranking of the Office in the Palace and showed me the sword of which He has won many Battles for YOUR FATHER the KING PEH HA.. I was shocked when I found this Out because He showed me the Sword.. which he took many lives and He knew my Grand father who was also the Chief General.. who also became the Commander and was Brothers in War and together they led many Victories in the Battles when Enemies rose against the Nation.. the Teacher told me.. the Older Man who is my teacher told me that I must Protect YOU.. and also Needed to defend because HE remembers you.. He knows my father who was the Head servant and saw YOU when YOU were Young with my Grandfather and knew.. Later down the Line.. Both would say.. the COMMANDERS would say YOU are going to rule.. that YOU are going to be the Head of the Nation.. that YOU are the next in Line to be at the RULING SPOT.. that YOU are going to be the QUEEN KING.. the Ruler who rules it all.. and when the Older man.. the Teacher saw me with the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing of YOU.. he looked at me and asked.. and I told the Teacher.. the Older man who you are.. I told Him.. I love YOU.. and that the reason why I am here.. and that the reason why I am going to you has never changed in my heart but keeps Loving YOU.. the Older man.. the teacher said to me.. CROWN PRINCESS right.. I told him.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I sat next to HIM and told him the story of How I saw YOU.. where I met YOU.. and it was at the Garden.. and how you came to visit the Garden One Night.. I already had Your Picture then.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I heard the men servants walking.. with the Many Foot soldiers.. the Special Body Guards and the Guards who all came that night.. I heard a Voice.. I was in the Garden Looking at the Bed of Flowers.. and I heard a Noise.. a shouting and there was a gate I would open to LOOK.. sitting on the Horse.. YOU were wearing a White Dress.. I was holding the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. but did Not know that it was YOU.. the MEN Servants looks at me.. the Crown Princess.. and I just could not believe.. from the Palace.. who is going to rule and be the Head over the Nation.. I am at the Most Lowest Place.. the SON of the Head servant.. and I fell down on my face DOWN and I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am so sorry I did not Know who YOU are.. and the Guards rush and fell on fours and Your Legs on the back of a Guards.. the maid servants who came to rush for your hands and helps you to walk.. every one went FACE DOWN to the Ground.. I just could not believe it.. why would you come to this Garden.. it is only for the Poor and the Lowest people who lives here.. why would you care for people who are born into the Most lowest comes to a shabby place.. I felt my Heart.. My Heart started to beat so fast.. and I saw YOU stand and stopped next to me.. the maid servant tells me that I can raise UP.. and I was able to stand before YOU.. YOU are so beautiful.. and One hand I had a Flower.. the Other hand is the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and your eyes were looking at both hands so I would raise it up to show you.. YOU looked at the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. the Maid servant looks at me.. and the eyes told me I can be in danger because of this.. and I remember I told YOU this very night.. if I have offended you HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU want me to rip this Art Sketch paper into pieces.. I can do it for YOU.. if you want me to be Locked in Prison and I die for this.. I can die for YOU.. before you make up your Mind to do something please let me share something from my Heart.. I am Not afraid to Die.. I am always ready to die.. I will anyways die either Now or Later but I still will die.. but one thing that I wanted to say.. I been loving YOU for a while Now.. it may not be much to YOU but this is ALL I have to have to Love.. if you want to Lock me UP now.. Please CROWN PRINCESS.. Lock me UP now.. and I saw YOU just looking at me and gave me a smile.. and I remember you wanted me to see the Garden.. and that was the day I would walk next to YOU to give you a tour of this Garden.. which it was to show YOU in the first place.. I told my Father when he was alive that I wanted to do something to this Garden.. and showing my Father the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. that I know that the Crown Princess may stop by one day.. HE looked at me like I am very crazy.. I would beg my father to help me to making this Garden to be a special Place.. what if the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH shows UP.. I believe the Crown Princess will come.. and My Father who was alive at that time laughs at me.. the ROYALITY and the Palace Life.. this is a SHABBY Place.. only for the Poorest People stay here and I would cry before HIM asking HIM.. to Help me to rebuild this Garden.. I know that the Crown Princess.. as I saw YOU with the White Dress.. I would stand with in awe and My lines of tears ran down because YOU did Come.. I just could not believe that It would happen because it just Can't but that Night.. the Night MAH MAH came.. I fell in love with YOU harder because that is when I knew.. you also cared about the poor people.. the Lowest of lives who lives here.. people who has no place to stay or to live.. as the gates OPENED and I would walk with YOU next to me.. the Crown Princess.. I just knew that YOU were so Special.. that YOU were so different because YOU even came here.. the POOR people all came Out.. NO HOMES.. living in straw homes.. people were dirty and smelly.. and I lived with these people.. but when YOU showed UP.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and YOU looked around.. and people all came crying.. and they fell on the Face Down.. MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH and I fell on the Face on the Ground and I started to SOBB.. crying and pouring out from my Heart.. and I was thinking about my Father.. if you came a little earlier.. My Father could of believed Me because he left to another place.. and I just could Not believe to see your Big Heart for these kinds of people.. the Lowly people

MAH MAH.. Friend.. the two of Us got on the Horses and we took Off.. as I am waiting in the Line.. with the new Friend.. He also has a Letter given by His Father.. and I too.. a HORN BLOWS and ALL the Men in the Line all lowers.. two Knees.. Heads lower and the Arm straight forward.. the Messenger Shouts Out Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH is coming.. and I stood there.. My Heart starts to Beat faster after I heard you came Out.. and I saw YOU from the Distance.. and I went on both knees.. Head down and Arm straight forward.. I just can't believe.. thinking of the Older man.. the Teacher.. who taught me everything.. swinging swords and defending.. and when I told the past story of How you came to the garden to the Poorest People living in the Garden.. and he started to cry.. That is why YOU are going to RULE the Nation.. that is why YOU are going to be the NeXT BIG RULER.. because YOU love and care for the people.. and my tears started to fall hitting on the Ground.. I saw YOU walking down.. from the distance.. and How much I missed YOU.. and it was so Long since the last when we were young.. I remember at the Garden.. you saw the People.. POOR children walking and YOU looked around and people gathered around YOU.. sick people came too.. and I heard you telling.. to rebuild this Garden.. and I stood.. face down to the ground and kept on crying.. and Now.. I know the true reason why I loved YOU and still loving YOU keeps on growing stronger each day passes by.. it is because YOU care and love.. even the broken people.. even a LOW person like myself.. I.. my Words are so speechless Now.. My Words can't come Out right now.. and I lifted UP my Head and I looked straight.. there is guard siting at the Table.. who is telling the MEN to go.. that it is finished.. and has to wait for the Next Year around.. as I am looking at the Two Letters.. and the Friend who is with me.. My Heart breaks.. I really wanted to see YOU Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I really wanted to tell you who I am.. the boy you saw at the Garden.. I have grown Now and came to protect and to defend YOU.. NOW I must have to go back and wait another year.. and as I would turn to walk away.. a Guard runs and stops Me with the friend.. and I would show the Guard the Official Stamp Letter.. the Seal from the COMMANDER who was the CHIEF in the military Arts.. and the Guard just could not believe the seal.. and He ran with the Official Seals.. and YOU were standing by the table.. and the Guard shows YOU.. the Letter and the Official Letter seal.. and YOU do know this Commander.. He was at the TOP of his TIME.. who was protecting YOUR FATHER the KING.. PEH HA.. the Guard comes to get me and the friend.. and We both would walk behind the Guard.. and I lifted UP my Head and I see YOU there.. I see you standing and waiting by the table.. and I started to cry.. showing YOU the JOY and the sorrows and It has been such a Long time.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. you are so Beautiful.. I am looking at the rain falling down the Sky.. looking across.. I see the Door where I sleep.. it is opened.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is inside that ROOM.. I needs to go and get it.. My Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Your Picture.. the Art Sketch Paper.. when I was Young.. the paper that YOU gave to Me.. I had to get the permission from the Artist Boy who drew that Picture of YOU.. I remember he told Me.. if He gets Caught drawing the Picture.. If a Guard catches or Any Officials who works for Your Father the King.. PEH HA.. he can be Put to death.. but He went and drew that Picture for me.. I saw Him get caught.. He was dragged into the Prison.. I could Not believe what has happened to that BOY.. who died for drawing the Picture of YOU.. I remember the Night I went to visit Him. My Father was able to get Me into the Palace.. being the Head servant who was serving YOU.. I went with my Father.. I saw Him siting alone.. and it just broke my Heart.. He told me.. it is because it is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. it is because YOU are MAH MAH.. the HAWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. any ways He was poor.. living as a Homeless street.. as I hold his hands to thank HIM.. he looked at me and told me.. I have A Dream.. as Long as I have that Dream to conqueror.. to be by YOUR SIDE.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who I loved and to serve.. and to Protect.. and told me.. GO ALL IN.. even if it gets me Here like this Young Boy.. it be worth Dying for as long as I can try my Best to get there.. and I cried Loud as He told Me.. Chase my Dreams and Let it come true.. Believe In It.. and something BIG.. GRAND can happen in the end.. I saw the Guards with the Keys.. Unlocks.. AND It was His time to GO.. I screamed Let HIM LIVE.. He did Not do any wrong.. what is Wrong to and the Guard struck me.. I fell and saw that Boy being carried away.. I get UP.. and I ran.. ran after the Guards WHO was taking HIM away.. my Father ran after ME.. grabbed me and told Me.. I will see him again.. and I stood there crying.. as the Boy disappeared into the Night.. and It was raining.. I saw the RAIN falling and I would Cry Out in Loud Voice wailing.. Crown Princess.. WHY is Life Not so fair for the POOR people.. small people like Us.. it is no Fair and I am wiping my tears with my Arms.. and as I am sitting down.. I am crying Looking at the open Door to the Small room.. that Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is a gift.. the Price has been paid.. some one had to die just to draw that Picture of YOU for Me and It died.. and the Older Man.. the Master.. he has the stick.. holding it UP.. and there is the stick on the ground next to me.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Cost of Losing a One's Life.. and it is YOU.. My Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH and I grab the stick with my Hand and PULL myself UP.. and my eyes looking at the Older MAN.. and he yells Out Loud and swings the Stick at me and I would go back.. the waters makes me slide back and I would yell in rage and I jump UP with the stick In my hand and I swing the stick and it hits the Old Man's stick. and I jump Up again and swing right left left right and I land on the ground and did a back Kick and Hit the Master on the middle.. and I jump Up again swinging the stick in my hand with full of Rage.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and swinging the stick in my hand left right right left and It knocks the Stick Off his Hand.. and I do a round house kick to knock him on the Ground.. the Older Man.. He is laying on the ground.. as the rain Keeps on falling down.. and I stand holding the stick in my hand.. I am crying.. Just Missing YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. but Look at me.. I am here stuck Out here.. ALL I want to do is just to see you for ONCE.. But the situation is Not helping me to go anywhere at this Point.. WHAT DO I do Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Older man.. the Master gets UP slowly.. and he stands looking at me.. and I see he leaving out of sight.. as I would LOOK at the Open Door to the ROOM.. the Small room where I rest.. and I go inside.. and I am looking.. the Art Sketch Paper.. and drawing Picture of YOU.. this Means everything to me.. I remember putting this Art Sketch Paper.. drawing Picture of YOU.. Putting in back of Me.. walking In the Snow.. all alone.. Not knowing where I was going to go but I even had to leave the Garden.. I told myself.. that I am going to go where YOU are.. Crown Princes.. as I would grab hold onto the Paper.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I told YOU through Looking at this Picture.. Someday I will get Close.. even though I may be far right Now.. I know that One day I will see YOU.. I will be close so that YOU know how much I love YOU.. and the Sword.. by the time I see YOU.. I am going to be holding a Sword in my hand.. and the Sword I hold.. it is going to Protect YOU.. my Sword that I have with me will always protect and also defend for YOU.. I will be a man of my words who will do whatever it takes just to be close.. even though I may not able to say the Words I love YOU.. I know that the day will come where YOU will give me the Permission to say it.. as the Next Day Arrives.. the Older man.. the Master.. He put a DUMMY made of WOOD.. Carved it and gave me the WOODEN SWORD STICK to practice.. every Night.. I would walk Out side.. He would should Me the PIN POINTERS where to Hit the Hot Spot to destroy my enemies.. I would stand Alone.. and Most nights the MOON came UP from the Sky.. the Older man.. the Master would behind.. leaving a distance.. as I would hit the DUMMY WOOD with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I would be looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would hold to close to my Chest.. and I would kiss the forehead of the WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. and I would walk outside into the Night.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would say.. I will see YOU SOON.. it may seems like a long time Now.. the Older MAN.. the Master tells me.. it be a lot sooner because I am thinking of YOU.. that I have a Dream to Love YOU.. but to Protect.. and to defend YOU for a cause for this Nation you are building.. that I know I needs to be there to see YOU as My True QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU as you take your place of Your Father's Spot.. to RULE this NATION as the CONQUEROR.. I want to be there to see with my own eyes before I die.. I can't not delay.. because I want to see YOU soon.. and I would be thinking of YOU.. thinking of protecting YOU and also defending

MAH MAH.. Master looks at me.. He tells me.. it is time for me to GO to see the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would stand there as he gives me the Letter.. stamping with the seal for His NAME that I am His student.. I would stand IN the ROOM.. as I am looking at the Letter with the STAMP SEALED.. I would sit.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I sat alone.. crying.. It means that I get to finally see YOU.. I have made the promise.. DO you remember.. and I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. WHEN we were Young.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU came to the Garden.. and I was at the Top of the Hill.. By the tree.. visiting My Mother's grave.. I was with my Father and he wanted too tell me a story.. and I heard the Messenger as he was going Up on the Hill.. and it stopped my Father and we turned to look back.. the Messenger says the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH is coming UP.. and Me and My Father.. Both on the Knees Looking on the ground.. YOU came to us.. and it broke my Heart when YOU told me.. it is going to be hard for you to come to this Garden.. and before YOU are going to come the One last Time.. a Prince is going to show UP for the Last time.. and I knew what that meant.. I remember that Day Came.. YOU showed UP with the Prince who wanted to Marry YOU.. My Heart was breaking into Pieces when He came with YOU.. but I made a Promise to YOU.. and that promise is that I will still love YOU.. and that I will go to serve.. and to protect and defend YOU.. even if it means that I can't Love YOU.. but I asked YOU.. can I still Love YOU.. WOULD YOU let me still Love YOU.. but I do remember YOU looked the other way.. WHEN I saw you with the Prince at the Hill top by the Tree.. I did Not want any one there which it was my Mother's Grave.. I just could Not believe it had to happen.. when I think of it Now.. I have never given UP on that Promise.. as I was in the Small ROOM.. holding the Letter with the Stamp sealed of the Older Man.. the Master.. and On the Other Hand is the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I don't have anything.. I have Nothing really.. But I do have this Heart.. a Heart who never seems to stop but Keeps On loving YOU and I am going to go to YOU.. I will be close to YOU and show YOU.. I am a MAN with a real Words who will do what I will say because I love YOU.. and as I hold the Letter.. there is a servant who belongs to the Older man.. the Master and he became my friend.. and that He too wanted to go to the palace life.. just to protect and the defend for YOU.. as I am looking at the SUN rising UP.. watching the New Recruits of Young Men.. I see YOU sitting on the Horse.. on the White Dress.. but this Time.. YOU have came Off from Sitting and I see YOU walking.. with the Big Crown on top of your Head.. and I turn to LOOK.. with the Seven men.. the friends of Mine.. we turn to face YOU.. and I would say.. SALUTE.. and all of the Men.. even the New Recruits.. More who even joined into the training camp.. ALL goes on the two Knees.. Arms moves forward.. and Lowers the Heads together and I see YOU stop.. MY Heart starts to beat Faster.. as my Heart keeps On running.. ALL these men.. New and Older.. the Military and Generals.. Commanders and Chief Generals.. ALL down on two Knees.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Young Boy who drew this Picture of YOU.. as I am looking at it.. My eyes.. watery and fills with Tears and I can feel my tears running Down as I am looking at this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. as YOU pull out the Sword and YOU point at Me.. and I lift UP my Head looking UP at YOU.. My Heart breaks because I do remember this One Young Fellow.. He told me that as Long as I keep dreaming.. and Dreaming of Just Loving YOU.. and to follow my Dreams and my Heart towards YOU.. that One day.. something Big.. something Grand will Happen.. I did Not know what that Meant.. But Now I know what it is Like because I am here today still Loving YOU.. I had no idea why was that young boy saying this to me.. that is before he died.. I saw the Boy's body on the back of a wagon being carried.. on the streets.. a HAY was covered over.. I ran to look at the wagon being pulled by the Horse.. when I stopped.. uncover the STRAY HAY covering.. it was the Same young Boy who gave me this Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I would with both hands show YOU.. HWANGTAEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you walking closer and YOU stopped.. and YOU looked at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is this Picture I kept all of this Time and Just could Not let It go.. But Know I believe I can because my Dreams of Loving YOU and coming this Close.. It has been kept alive.. I want YOU to do the Honor to Burn this For Me.. because Now.. I realize I don't need this One Picture because I see YOU Now.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am close to YOU NOW.. I love YOU MORE NOW.. so I don't need to go back because I am Now living in the Present.. going forward with YOU to future HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. ALL I want to say to YOU.. I still Love YOU.. I never have given UP that Hope and dreams of Loving YOU.. I hope that NOW you can see my true Heart.. the real Heart of Mine who never stopped Loving you this Far.. all I wanted to say to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I love YOU.. I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with

MAH MAH.. Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop by the Fence.. and as I let down the Art Sketch Paper.. the Recent drawing picture of YOU.. I see YOU stand there.. the Other Guard points.. that is the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. who is in control in that training ground.. and I see YOU from the distance.. and there are many MEN.. the new recruits as YOU are the One over seeing and teaching them with the Stick.. and My Heart.. Are you really holding the Sword.. the way of the swordsmanship.. as YOU turn toward the Fence.. YOU see two men.. and YOU stop.. showing the form of the Arts of swordsmanship and LOOKS.. as I see YOU looking at me and the Other guard.. It just can't be.. is it really YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and of course YOU don't know who I am because it has been such a Long time I saw YOU.. and I would kneel.. two knees.. and the Other Guard kneels with me on two knees.. Head Looks on the ground.. arms forward.. and I see YOU are coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come.. and as I am LOOKING UP at YOU from kneeling on two Knees.. YOU looked at me.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see your smile.. so YOU do Remember everything right.. it is that Boy at the garden.. who wanted to give YOU a flower.. Now.. it is Not just a flower.. but I will show YOU a SWORD to protect YOU and this Nation.. and will FIGHT on your Behalf.. the Other guard looks at me.. and As I am looking at the New Recruits.. I would look back.. and I see the Seven Friends who are behind me.. there are two who has been there for me all this time.. the Other Guard who lead me to YOU.. and the First Guard who talk to me at the waters.. Who has been helping me to get closer to YOU.. and as I would LOOK by the Fence.. I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am holding the stick in the Hand.. telling me that I should train these new Men.. the YOUNG MEN who are the recruits.. and as I would pull back.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground.. I am looking at the Moon.. I just wish that YOU know my Heart.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that I can't go with you right Now.. Because I want YOU to be at the Seat.. to be at Your Throne.. to Rule over and to take the seat that belongs to YOU.. and I am standing by the tree.. on the Hill side top.. looking UP to the sky.. Looking at the stars shining across the sky.. MAH MAH.. I remember when I first stood here.. running UP the Hill when I was a Young Boy.. My Father was standing next to the tree.. and I would yell out loud.. and my Father smiling looking at me Running UP to him.. and I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I would show my Father.. and He looks at YOU.. that is the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. after My Father passed away.. I remember walking UP the Hill side.. and I would stand next to this Tree.. and I am holding unto the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I would turn too look.. I can see the Palace.. It seems so Far away.. and I would be looking UP to the sky.. Looking at the stars shining above me.. and that Moon.. it has never seems to change.. it would appear the same way as being a Young Boy.. But I still had hopes and dreams.. that One day I am going to see YOU.. that One day I am going to hold your hands and to stand by this Tree.. the same tree I would run up and down.. many broken hearts.. broken tears I would cry.. I would be shouting Loud.. Looking across.. Looking at the Palace.. WHY did you have to come into my Heart MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. why do you have to live In my Heart.. it hurts because I love YOU.. I know that I should be more happier than ever to Love YOU.. but instead.. many nights I would shed these tears.. feeling so Lost.. feeling so lonely and just to be loved.. Will the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. will you ever see my through.. would you ever see my Heart.. can YOU feel the Heart.. the One Heart that I have kept inside which weeps most of the time.. missing YOU.. wanting to be close.. to get close.. to Love YOU.. to held YOU in my arms and to tell YOU.. whisper in your Ears How much I love YOU.. and I would watch the Night.. wondering can My voice ever be heard.. I don't care.. as long as YOU can hear me.. if I tell YOU that I love YOU.. will you want to hear my words.. my voice of telling YOU.. I can tell YOU thousand times.. but will you want to hear it over and over and over again if I tell YOU that for Me.. it is the greatest pleasure to tell YOU from My Heart because I know deep within me I love YOU.. I would even stand by this tree.. when I saw the dark clouds gathered.. I can hear the roaring of the Thunder knowing that it is going to send rain.. showers and heavy rain down on me.. I would watch and wait.. as I feel the wind changing towards me and I start to see the rain drops.. falling from the Sky.. I would be standing by this tree.. Looking across.. looking at the Palace wondering.. If I go to YOU.. will you open your arms out to me.. will you tell me MAH MAH.. I am able to come to YOU.. will you allow me to step into that Palace.. and I would be wondering.. How do I get to that place from where I am standing.. I want to Go.. I want to run to YOU.. I want to be where YOU at.. If I go.. will you accept Me.. will I be invited to stand close to YOU.. and I would start to watch the rain fall.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I remember it was after I saw YOU coming to the Garden

I open the back Door of the Work shop.. and the Garden is here.. I wish that YOU were here so that I can show you something.. something that I been wanting to show YOU.. started to rebuild this Garden just to tell YOU.. just to show YOU my Heart.. Do you remember how much YOU loved Flowers.. YOU are the One who gave me the Dream to work in this Flower Shop.. telling me that when we were Once Young.. back in the Orphan Home.. I came to YOU.. and it was after a time being.. and YOU showed me this Art Piece of paper.. and I remember.. your Both Parents as the Missionaries.. children would RUN.. they would hear from the Lady who owned the House.. with many Little Children who came from Broken Homes.. having NO parents.. having NO ONE who can Love them.. but It was both Your parents who came and spend the Time with these Children.. I would ask for YOU when YOU did Not come.. I heard from your Father says.. YOU have a Big Dreams.. and that YOU are so Busy with daily Life trying to Accomplish the many Big Dreams YOU had.. and One was painting.. How you love to draw and add colors to the Picture YOU drew.. and after a Long time of NOT showing UP.. I guess YOU finally showed UP.. many Months went By.. I do remember sitting by myself.. Out side.. and did Not want to talk to Any One.. I just did Not want to fit in with any one.. I heard the Foot steps walking towards Me.. and stops.. When I lifted UP my Head.. I see YOU.. but WHY did it take YOU so Long to come visit Me.. I would ask.. Your Father.. I would ask.. Your Mother.. why don't you ever Come.. is it because YOU did Not want to see Me.. your Parents be saying the same thing.. YOU are always Busy.. and Now YOU show UP.. when I am down and feel so alone.. WHY did you come to Hurt me.. I would LOOK at YOU with a Smile.. and YOU sat down next to me.. and YOU told me.. YOU been painting.. going into the Art Classes.. learning the Oil Painting.. and I am over here.. feel so Sad.. it must feel so Good to have great Parents who can Help you with Your Future.. but Look at me.. I have NO future.. a broken Heart.. NO family.. no parents who loves Me.. and YOU turn and tells me to Hush UP.. and YOU showed me something.. and told me to take a Look of your Piece of Art.. I am wondering.. and It is so beautiful.. Just Like YOU.. this Flower.. so Beautiful.. and YOU gave me this Piece of Art and you gave me a Smile.. NOW.. I am wondering.. WHY did you give me this Form of Art.. what is it that I do with this.. Just to look at this Piece of Paper with a Flower on it.. and YOU smiled.. and told me to be More Creative with it.. and to Open my Mind and Heart.. something will come Alive.. and as I watch YOU smile and YOU waved your hands at me.. both parents next to YOU as they wanted to go Home.. I stood UP.. and I waved back at YOU.. WHEN will I see YOU again.. is it going to be another year.. maybe even much Later HUH.. and I would look at YOU as YOU go in the back of the Car.. and I see Your parents goes into the car and the Car starts to drive away.. and I start to run.. chasing after the Car and I see you turn to LOOK back of the window and My tears were falling out of my Eyes.. what If I keep on missing YOU.. what if this Piece of Art does Not heal my Heart and I would see the Car NO more.. and I stop.. crying.. wiping my tears.. and I turn the Other way.. and I am Looking at this Piece of Art.. the Flower YOU painted.. and what is the name of this Flower.. and where can I find this Kind of Flower.. is it possible for me to get this Kind of Flower.. I mean.. what if I start to sell this Kind of Flower.. will you come.. will you show UP and see and I would lift UP the Piece of Art.. the Flower Painting.. and I would stand and think about what YOU said.. to Open my Mind.. and to Open my Heart.. to think and dreams.. and do WHAT.. I stood still.. do What.. and I would walk slowly to the Orphan Home.. just thinking about what I should do.. be Creative.. and I would walk into the House asking myself.. do what.. as I am on the Back of the Work Shop.. in my hand is the Piece of Art.. the Flower painting YOU gave me when I was YOUNG.. and I am looking at this Small bed.. and I see Flowers growing on this Bed of ground.. and I would lower my self.. LOOKING at the Piece of Art.. and the Flower Painting and I would look at these Live Flowers in the Bed of the Ground.. It has been a long ways of Coming.. and I am waiting for the Flowers to grow and mature to the Full Bloom.. adult Flowers.. and I would stare at these flowers.. and I see the Forms and I am seeing the Shape.. it is becoming More Like the Piece of Art.. the Flower Paintings I am holding in my hands.. YOU told Me.. When I was sitting Down Alone.. and I felt like NO ONE else cared about Me.. I heard the Foot steps walking.. and stopped in front of Me.. when I lifted UP my Head.. my eyes.. I was truly Amazed of HOW Beautiful.. so Lovely in form.. my eyes met Your eyes and I wanted to tell YOU.. which left me speechless to share at that Moment.. I wanted to tell YOU and say to YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. so Amazingly Beautiful.. My words.. my Lips.. my mouth just could Not speak the Language to tell YOU what My Heart was feeling at that Moment but I was truly Blown away.. like this Piece of Art.. so Beautiful.. like this Flower Painting.. YOU are so Beautiful.. what More Words can I say to YOU that Night when my eyes met YOURS.. it seemed like YOU were never going to show UP.. but when YOU did Come from Nowhere.. I couldn't be angry any more.. I couldn't tell YOU I been waiting for YOU all this time because it was like this Painting of the Flower.. AMUSE and AMAZING to me.. I never thought that YOU would share.. I only thought you were just going to tell me YOU were going to leave again.. But it was that Night.. when YOU stood and YOU sat next to me.. and YOU opened my eyes.. and Opened my heart telling me to be More creative with myself.. I never knew what that meant.. what does it means to be More creative.. but when YOU start to Love in your Heart.. when I started to Love YOU more.. just Out of nowhere things came into my Mind and into my Heart.. just Like that NIGHT.. YOU showed me.. the value what it means to be More Creative with YOURSELF.. YOU showed me a Piece of Art.. and the Flower Painting.. I sat down confused.. did Not know what I am suppose to do with this Piece of Art.. am I suppose to eat this Piece of Art.. it is a Piece of Paper but when YOUR MIND and HEART.. and YOU open it with being with creative and YOU showed me that It starts with the true Meaning of Love.. teaching Me how to love YOU.. AM I getting good.. am I getting better with It because I really Love YOU.. I remember when YOU told me that YOU had Big Dreams and it made me Sad because I started to feel sorry for myself.. because I could Not dream.. I was at the MOST lowest Place.. started to think about the Situation but YOU have made me believe again and it started with Loving YOU.. maybe YOU felt that Night.. that I been asking for YOU.. when Your Both parents came.. and I would Open the Door.. I see the Car outside.. and I am so excited they came because I knew if they Came.. you could also come TOO.. but I would watch through the Window.. there was NO sign of YOU there with them.. I would be at the Door.. and Opened for your Father to walk in.. I felt so Little and so Small because Your Father is such a Great MAN of God.. who loves Us the Children and came to serve and to teach.. and I would be always asking for YOU.. and I knew that I could Not dream when I saw your Father.. the way he looked at me.. but I would still ask.. where are YOU.. where is the Daughter.. but.. always saying YOU are so busy.. it broke my Heart.. I guess your parents notice that we were getting just too close.. when the Days you came with your parents.. YOU would always show me the Different Pictures YOU drew and painted.. all these Flowers YOU would come.. and told me How long it has taken YOU to drew on the sketch paper.. and had to paint with the Oils.. mixing the Colors and the Mind and Heart of creating something.. Your Eyes would Lid UP when I would look and say.. it is so Beautiful.. this Flower Painting.. can I have this One too.. it is because I believe One day I can sell it.. and I am sure a Buyer will Love it to hang on the Walls to show Off who is the Great Oil Painter.. and I would watch you smile as I would share that.. we would both smile a lot when YOU came.. a BOX.. when YOU open.. all the brushes uses for the Oil Painting.. mirrors and the Note Book.. art sketch paper you would bring to show Me.. and I would sit and stare.. My Heart.. and I guess Your Parents started to notice that we were just too close.. but that very Night.. when YOU came with the Final Piece of Art and YOU Showed Me.. it was your heart that was giving me something.. I know that YOU may think that it may not be Much.. but what matter to me the Most are these little things I cherish in the Memories.. YOUR presences means everything.. your Smile and the Gestures YOU give.. and even when YOU show UP with the Piece of Art.. the Flower Paintings and YOU would show it to me.. telling me to Open my Mind.. to Open my Heart.. to be More creative.. I did Not know what YOU were talking about.. but it is the Giving of Your Heart which finally got to Me.. I was blinded of receiving just too much that I just did NOT care about the behind of what is happening in those curtain moments but when YOU told me.. the last day.. I knew that It meant something More.. when I saw the real YOU of the giving of your Heart.. it got me by Nowhere because it was the Day.. I saw you in the back of the car and Your Father

It was YOU who I was loving all this TIME.. asking For YOU.. when YOU father stood tall.. looking at me.. I would be asking for YOU first.. I never knew then but when I think of it Now.. it is because I been loving YOU.. just did Not want to show it and say it was true.. but it was on that very night.. when YOU sat next to me.. showing me the Final Piece of Art.. the Flower painting.. even though I thought you would come back soon.. when YOU spoke of the words.. to be more Creative.. to Open my eyes.. My MIND and My Heart.. I would sit that very night in the room.. the children were sleeping in the Beds.. but I could Not sleep that very Night.. I would be sitting on the top of the bed.. just LOOKING at the Final Piece of Art work.. the Flower Painting YOU gave me.. just trying to think about be Open for What.. what Happens when YOU open Your Heart.. and your Mind.. Open your eyes.. what happens next.. what does It means to be more creative.. and that is when I knew.. when YOU start to Love.. it is when YOU can truly show HOW you can express something in your Heart.. In your Mind and Open your eyes and be more creative with It.. as I saw this as I was looking at the Final Piece of Art Work of Yours.. I could Not help it but cried looking at it.. because I knew it my Heart.. this means good BYE right.. it means YOU are Never going to come back to this Orphan Home.. and I would cry in the silent of the NIGHT on the bed.. looking at this Piece of Art work of Yours.. my Heart was touched.. it drove me crazy because NOW I know what it means to Love YOU.. then How can YOU stop.. because YOU can Only Love the One who can truly show YOU how to Love.. or who Knows How to love.. and I wanted to Love YOU more.. if YOU are able to show me something that YOU love the Most.. that Means YOU know How to Love.. I want to love YOU because I know that a person who gives can receives too.. so I want to be the One to give it all now to YOU.. so that YOU can feel how much I love YOU.. that It may Not be too Much.. It may be so Small and simple but I do Love YOU.. How can I let YOU know how much I love YOU since Now YOU showed me that YOU can Love.. let me Love YOU.. as I am Looking at the Garden.. my eyes are filled with Tears.. I ache inside because I want to show YOU.. Not just show YOU but tell YOU.. How can I tell you something if I can't even show it to YOU.. that Is why I have come back to this Work shop.. I am here in the back of the Garden.. there is the back DOOR.. and a bed of Ground.. I am here looking at the Flowers which are growing because YOU have given me something to Love and to dream.. TO BE more Creative.. to Open my Mind.. to Open my Heart.. it is YOU who showed me and taught me HOW to Love and I just want to give it ALL back to YOU by saying I love YOU..I am looking at the door.. as I open the Door.. walking into the Work shop.. the Smell of the Place.. I have missed this place so Much.. but there is One thing that is Missing.. It is YOU.. only if YOU were here with me.. the painting on the wall.. and How all the things have set in and Now ready to Open the shop once again.. but.. when YOU were here with Me.. and how you came.. YOU were going to school.. I remember YOU came to the Work Shop as a Part time.. and wanted to help me.. I remember YOU wanted to be a Doctor.. always had a Big Dream to help people and save many lives and go out on the Mission trips to help the Poor and needy people.. and telling me these things.. I was filled in awe of YOU.. and YOU asked me if I remembered You.. of course it was long ago when I saw YOU as a Young girl.. but it seemed like YOU have never forgotten me.. I remember I would ask of YOU to come and help me at this Work Shop and I was selling Flowers in this Work Shop.. never imagined that I would meet you.. you were grown and more matured going into the University.. to become a Doctor.. as I would hire YOU to work with Me.. YOU asked me.. do I remember this One Picture.. as I would stand on the Other side of the counter.. It was a drawing picture.. and YOU showed me.. and when I got hold.. my both hands grabbed the Art sketch paper and it was a drawing of a Flower.. It made me jump when I saw the drawing picture of the Sun Flower.. and I turn to look back.. and On the wall.. I would look at the same sketch paper and It was drawn by YOU.. and I remember YOU turn to look at the wall.. and I remember YOU would walk closer to the wall and YOU would look at the art sketch paper.. the same Flower.. the Sun Flower YOU drew for me.. and I see your hand touch over the paper and YOUR Head turns to look at me and I would tell you.. Yes.. I do remember this Paper.. the Art sketch paper.. YOU gave it to me when YOU were a lot younger.. do YOU NOT remember the time.. and as I would stand alone in this Work Shop.. I am standing and staring at the wall.. the Art Sketch Paper is on the wall still.. the Same Flower.. the Sun Flower YOU drew for me.. as I stood in the silent.. the two lines of tears would roll down my eyes.. my hand touch my chest.. It hurts right here.. I wish that YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. that it hurts when I stand here alone.. without YOU here.. it feels like even I can take a look at that Art sketch paper.. watching it here alone.. it Hurts me More because all I needed is YOU.. all I need is YOU to be here but I know that I stand alone right Now.. but I need you here with me right Now.. as I look at the Art sketch paper.. and I would walk closer to the wall.. my hand touch over the Art sketch paper.. I miss YOU.. without YOU I feel like My Heart hurts.. why couldn't YOU cut my chest Open.. why couldn't YOU get rid of My Heart.. Now I feel like I am sick again.. DO I needs to go as a Patient to visit YOU.. but this TIME.. I am Not going to leave alone.. I want to leave with My Heart with YOU.. so that I don't need to feel this Way.. it Hurts.. It hurts me so bad because I am missing YOU right Now.. why did YOU have to come at the Most hardest times of my Life.. why did YOU have to come and Now.. take my smiles away.. as I close both of my eyes.. I would go back as a Young Boy.. I am crying.. sitting on the ground.. receiving a Letter from a relative of Mine.. the Letter speaks about how my family Died in the burning of the fire House.. My family was very poor and they could not take care of me.. as a Relative holding my hand takes me away.. I am crying and crying walking away from the farm House.. My Heart keeps on breaking.. why.. why does My Life has to be so Sad.. why have to be so broken.. now.. I just received a Letter from the same relative who was holding my hand.. taking me away and telling me I am Now an Orphan Boy.. as I read the Letter.. I learned how to read from the Lady who owns this House.. as I was sitting.. I hear foot steps walking.. and it stops.. as I lifted UP to take a LOOK.. YOU are so Beautiful.. in a red dress.. in a red shoes.. I see YOU stand there.. and YOU would sit right next to Me.. why did YOU have to come at this Point.. I was reading a Letter.. which It broken me down into tears.. having NO more family.. being abandoned and Broke.. having NO future.. I see YOU coming Out of No where.. but Like an Angel YOU sat next to Me.. and I remember YOU would be asking why I be crying.. and I would give YOU the Letter.. if you could read.. I give you the permission for YOU to read what the relative wrote to me.. and I would be crying in silent.. as the MOON came Out.. and I can hear YOU breathe hard.. I know.. that is how I felt when I first read the Letter.. My Heart keeps on hurting Me.. It hurts me more because Now I have told YOU a secret that I just never told any one.. I am angry for being taken away.. and how I am abandoned by the family.. I am dirty and poor.. I have NO body to talk too.. and I would hear YOU trying to cheer me UP.. and I wanted to run away.. DID NOT be a part of this Orphan Boy.. but then where would I go if I leave here.. and I do remember at the Moment.. YOU pulled Out something and YOU showed me the Art Sketch Paper.. and YOU be sharing How you are taking an Art class.. and to see your drawing.. as I turn.. My hands grab hold unto and I would look at the Picture of the Art sketch paper.. I would look at the Sun Flower.. finger points WHY this Kind of flower you drew.. I remember you be sharing that is your Most Favorite Flower in the world.. that when YOU feel so sad.. YOU would go to the garden.. and YOU would go see this Flower.. and Hoping that I too can smile once again.. as I would look at this Picture.. I started to cry some More.. it hurts Me.. I have NO more family now.. NO ONE I can call Mother or Father any More.. this Picture.. How can it help me at this Point of my Life when I have lost every thing.. but YOU told me.. that NOW.. I may not see it or understand it.. but later On.. I will get it.. when time heals my Heart.. I will start to love this Flower and will Love once again.. and Yes.. YOU were right.. It did Not take me too long to get back on my feet once again.. I would be looking at this Picture.. wondering.. where can I find this Flower.. where can I go to see this Flower.. for a long time I been thinking about this Flower because I grew to Love it.. why.. because It came from YOU.. YOU remind me of SUN FLOWER so much.. the More YOU think about it.. the More you see it.. YOU grow more into it.. and I would find a Way.. to make a Mission to search about this Flower.. and I would start.. as I am standing alone.. this Work SHOP.. I would only think about YOU.. I wanted to share how much I love YOU.. and that is why I opened this Work Shop.. dedicating the Flower.. when YOU feel like YOU are dead inside.. the Hope to smile Once more.. Your Courage and How YOU helped me to bounce back.. I wanted

Time.. but when the Door opened and YOU came in.. the early years.. I saw YOU.. but of course I did Not recognize YOU at first.. I remember it is when YOU showed me the Drawing.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing of the Sun Flower.. I knew that It was YOU.. I did Not want YOU to come close to me at first.. because I knew what was in my Heart.. I did Not want you to work with me at first because what if I love YOU more.. I will get hurt because I knew what was in my Heart.. loving YOU is the Most beautiful thing but also it hurts me at the same time.. I have a Broken Heart already.. of losing my family on the Burning of the Farm House.. when YOU stopped visiting me.. I would think.. maybe YOU did Not want to get close to Me.. was it because I gave you the Letter.. was it because I shared you a Letter about the passing of the family.. wasn't it YOU who be asking to see what the Letter was written about.. I only wanted you to know a glimpse so that YOU can at least understand me where I am coming from.. I just did Not get it at first because I wanted you to be close.. that is why I opened UP to you and to show you the side where I would crumble at the Most.. but.. I think I made the mistake of revealing too much of the Downer side what I felt at that Point.. but.. I do remember.. watching YOU looking at the wall.. I would be holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of the Sun Flower.. I would freeze from the Inside as my eyes saw the Same drawing.. of course I dedicated all my Heart and energy because I loved YOU.. I loved YOU because YOU came at the most hardest and difficult times of my Life.. trying to cheer Me up.. it was so Beautiful.. and so moving at my Heart.. NO ONE has ever down.. to show the care and the tender side which NO ONE wanted to give.. crying alone.. I would be sitting on the bed.. looking at the Drawing.. the Art sketch paper.. the SUN FLOWER.. NO ONE has ever done this for me.. why was it YOU.. why did YOU even care.. and I wanted to give Back to share back.. to let someone who feels like me to smile Once more.. what you gave it something that NO MONEY can buy.. as ALL the Boys were sleeping in One room.. I sat alone.. leaning on the wall.. could NOT sleep that Night.. but kept on looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of the SUN FLOWER.. I wanted to know.. what does IT means to love.. I want to love and choose to love instead.. I don't want to be hurt or be hurting Others any more.. and I wanted to have answers of the One Question that was in my Heart.. and It was with this ONE SIMPLE picture but it came from YOUR Heart that answered everything.. as I would look at the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing of the Sun Flower.. I knew that I had to do something.. that One day YOU will know that I love YOU.. maybe not at the Point but some day YOU will know how much I love YOU by sharing what YOU have given Me and what you have done to Me.. as I would look.. the Work Shop.. Looking at the Paper.. the Art sketch.. the drawing of the Sun Flower.. back is the Garden.. and Now.. there are More than Thousand Sun Flowers in the Back.. in the Garden.. ready to be given and ready to be sold.. when YOU came into the Work Shop.. I was blown into pieces because YOU looked a lot like someone who I loved.. but did NOT wanted to ask you if YOU were.. because YOU could of been someone else but NOT YOU.. when YOU shared the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of the Sun Flower and I turn to face the Wall.. the same drawing YOU given me when I was a young Boy.. who was hurting.. who just read a Letter of the Lost and dead family.. YOU were like an Angel who gave me Life to live again.. I do remember when YOU asked me if YOU could work here.. I told YOU NO at first.. I did Not want you to come close because I know that something could happen.. I wanted you close deep in my Heart.. but.. I did not want you too close.. I am already Hurt.. I do not want to be hurt again but I did miss YOU so much that My Heart was crying inside.. I did Not want to tell YOU this at all.. because I did Not want to see you go.. I remember YOU told me that YOU will be back.. and I had to let YOU go that day you came.. YOU just do not know how heavy I felt inside.. It broke me down into tears again.. asking myself.. why did I let YOU go like this.. what if YOU will never show UP.. what if I will not see YOU again.. what if I end up dying like this instead.. and I just could not help myself and blamed myself for letting you walk away like this.. what if YOU never come back to me.. and I be dumb like this of letting YOU go when I know deep inside I love YOU.. I was just too afraid to let YOU IN because I loved YOU just too much.. I am looking at you.. I just could not believe that YOU are now a doctor.. a Heart surgeon.. of course I came here to get my Heart to be removed.. I wanted another Heart Surgeon because.. Can you handle doing the surgery.. planting into a different Heart.. a Heart from someone else.. What would you do if I don't recognize YOU any more.. what will you do if I start to love another whose Heart has been loving.. But.. I don't want to lose YOU.. How can I live without YOU.. How can I breathe if I can't love YOU any more.. but all this Time.. I have been only loving YOU.. YOU are the Only One who I been missing.. I been crying over looking at the empty wall.. walking into the Work Shop.. I been missing YOU.. missing your Presence.. just missing your smile.. can YOU handle me.. putting me into the deep sleep.. as YOU cut my chest wide open.. I know that YOU are more experience in this kind of work.. If you are the Doctor.. because I asked for a well experienced.. well established with multiple years of experience.. I don't want my Heart to be broken.. I don't want my Heart to be dropped on the floor.. It has been with me all of my life.. ever since I was born.. ever since I was a young Boy.. when I first saw YOU.. I cried.. I started to cry after YOU left.. YOU promised me that YOU will be back.. and I felt my Heart.. I did not know what it was at the first touch.. I just could not stop.. but I would kept on crying through the Night.. that is when I could Not sleep.. I kept on thinking of YOU.. over and over.. turning and tossing.. all of the children at the Orphan House.. they were all sleeping good.. I sat on top of the bed.. wondering.. why couldn't I sleep like the Other children.. I do remember you gave me your picture.. I saw both of your parents with YOU.. and I do remember.. being so Poor.. without any parents.. living with bunch of poor children.. who had No homes.. only could gather with each other.. I looked at YOU.. I would smile.. I could never smile living with bunch of these children.. they were all dirty like Me.. pushing and shoving.. kicking and screaming.. and there was No peace.. When I heard the Old Woman.. the Care taker says to the Children.. a Missionary family is coming.. to help Us.. to help educate and give Us books to read.. and toys to play with.. of course.. it was YOU and your Parents who came.. I knew that I should of stopped myself right when I met YOU.. I don't know why I asked for your picture that day.. before YOU were leaving.. and as I was crying.. I wanted to be a Part.. so I asked for YOUR picture.. when YOU told me that YOU are going to give me One.. and That smile.. you pulled out and told me that this is the Only One.. the best Picture you have taken.. I saw your Smile.. and YOU told me.. behind the Picture is your Address.. and If I wanted a friend to share my Heart.. to write YOU a Letter.. I do remember watching YOU leave.. Your Father and Mother holding your Hands as YOU leave.. I would be waving with tears in my eyes.. I felt so Alone.. I felt so cold.. I felt so Poor.. and I would fall both on my knees.. and Weeping as I take a Look at your Picture.. why do you have to leave so Soon.. Are you going to come to visit me and the children.. and both hands holding the side of the Picture.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and I be looking with tears.. wiping my tears with my hand.. I feel so Alone.. I feel so sad because My Heart.. is it going to break like this.. My Heart keeps on breaking because YOU know how much I love you right.. and I do remember that Night.. I just could not sleep.. and sitting on the top of the Bed.. I pulled out Your Picture.. and I would look.. and I do remember what YOU said.. to write YOU when I needed a friend.. and I would get Out of the Bed and I walked to the desk.. and I sat down to write.. as I am laying.. I am looking at YOU.. as a Doctor.. as the Heart Surgeon.. I should of Not come to this Hospital.. What are you going to do with My Heart.. I don't want you to take my Heart away.. if I can't love you any more.. I rather ask for another Doctor.. I guess the main reason is to forget YOU.. and Let my Heart be taken away and Let someone else have My Heart.. But when I saw YOU.. if YOU were another Doctor.. another Heart Surgeon.. then I think it would been so much easier to go with the proceed to do the surgery but.. I feel like My Heart Now just can't go.. it has been such a Long time since I saw YOU.. and for the longest Time.. I have been missing YOU.. but Now.. I just can't give My Heart away with YOU becoming the Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon.. I been to the Work Shop lately.. and started a Project.. to rebuild that Work Shop.. it has been broken and abandoned for a Long time.. I just could Not work there any more.. for some reason I would see YOU.. even though YOU were never there.. there would be a Lot of pictures I would put on the walls.. that is before YOU left.. taking many pictures of YOU.. a lots of laugh.. lots of crying but more smiles On my face when YOU were there with Me.. I wanted to go back.. I started to miss you ever since I left because I kept on thinking of YOU.. I would go

Few more times.. and I started to think about YOU at the Work Shop.. what If you would be back.. even though I knew that YOU would never come around.. but I kept on thinking.. YOU could just visit.. but if YOU walked into the Work Shop all Broken and Abandoned.. then I know that YOU will Not come around ever again.. because NO ONE knows what will happen next.. so I started to make a Plan.. to remodel.. and to re build that Building.. just in case One day.. some day soon you can come.. and YOU will know that it has never been broken down.. as I gathered some workers.. spend days.. spend weeks and into the months.. new paintings.. putting UP the fences.. and even started to go back into the garden.. planting new seeds to bring into the life.. after it was all completed.. and the work shop was back on business.. I went in to work again.. of course there was something missing as I started to work in that shop.. it was YOU.. it felt like I cannot never get YOU back.. since you left long ago.. How can I bring YOU back if YOU have already left.. I would look at the wall.. the Wall with Your Pictures.. many of the Pictures I would post to share.. as I would start to look at Your Pictures.. Just memories of YOU came flashing through my Mind.. I knew that if I wanted to continue to run this Business.. I needed to get Rid of My Heart.. I knew that only if My Heart goes.. I can work in this Work Shop without missing YOU so Much.. that is the Only way I knew that I can continue.. that is when I decided to go into the surgery.. that I wanted to let My Heart to go.. I asked for the Best Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon with the Best experience.. of course never thought that It would be YOU walking into this Room.. even though I want YOU to do the Surgery.. I just can't Lose YOU.. after I see YOU now.. and How well YOU are in Life.. I think I just can't let My Heart go.. and I am looking at YOU.. I do need My Heart to be replaced.. but what would happen if I don't love you any More.. I am sure Now you are doing good with another Man.. can YOU still do the Heart surgery.. Now the Person who is going to exchange with my Heart comes into the Room and sits on another Bed.. and I turn to look at the Person.. I just can't believe it.. the Man turns to look at me.. I am not sure if I know this Man but the Man looks at me.. He is the friend who has taken YOU away.. I am wondering.. why is this Man in the same bed.. He wants his Heart to be removed just Like me.. and I am wondering.. I don't want His Heart.. I rather keep My Heart.. He has a Broken Heart too.. and I look at YOU.. I am wondering.. what is going On and Now YOU are telling me.. the relationship has ended on Both.. and that YOU are single.. and I am thinking.. Am I suppose to be happy or suppose to be Sad.. are YOU sad.. is that WHY you have become a Heart Surgeon.. WHO has Not been loving YOU well.. YOU know that If YOU are removing all Kinds of Hearts.. is it because someone has broken YOUR HEART or are you breaking Hearts and switching Hearts to different People.. because I don't want Another Broken Heart.. can I have YOUR HEART instead.. How about YOU can do the surgery on Me and I want to Have YOUR HEART in me so that I can say to YOUR HEART.. I can Love you more than any.. I know that YOU have already Broken Me Heart Once.. I don't need another Broken Heart in Me.. that is why I want Your Heart.. I know that YOUR HEART does Not break because YOU fix Hearts.. that is why I loved YOU for a Long time.. as I would pull out the Picture.. and I am Looking at the Picture when YOU were YOUNG.. next to the Picture is the First Letter you wrote me.. and I would open the Letter and I would turn to YOU and I would read it Out loud.. this is what YOU wrote Me.. when I could Not sleep.. when I met YOU the first time.. and I asked for YOUR Picture.. YOU gave me this Picture.. with Your Address in the back asking me.. If I needed a Friend that I can write YOU any time.. so I wrote.. and This is what YOU wrote me and I cried.. as I am looking at YOU.. my tears are flowing down my eyes and I started to read to you with tears rolling down my eyes.. and I would say to YOU.. this was why I started to Love YOU.. you wrote when I was at the Most Lowest of the time of my Life and has fixed this Broken Heart by telling me all of this.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU never came.. the door was never locked because it is YOU who I been waiting for.. I would be working in the Flower Shop.. waiting if YOU would ever show UP.. but you would never come.. It broke my Heart because what If YOU would stop by.. even just for Once.. I was Not asking for a long time.. even just for few seconds.. it would been enough for Me.. but YOU never came.. working in the Flower Shop without YOU was the most difficult thing for Me because I would be waiting.. even though I knew deep in my Heart that YOU would never show UP.. just hoping that it would be you who would knock on the door.. asking for me to open that door in the Work Shop.. in that flower Work Shop.. I would cry many nights of thinking of YOU.. just remembering all of the memories we shared together in that Shop.. I would watch YOU with the camera.. lights flashes as YOU would take pictures of the Flowers.. asking me about how it grew.. the place where I would planted in the soil.. I would even take you to the spots.. back in the garden.. where YOU would see the flowers in full bloom.. matured and sprung UP for YOU to take a look.. YOU would smile.. I would watch YOU holding that camera in front.. as I would watch YOU looking through the camera Lens and taking pictures of the flowers back in the Garden.. I wanted to Hold YOU.. I wanted to Pull you closer to me.. around my arms I wanted to feel YOU inside.. but I would stop myself of getting closer to YOU.. I wanted to get close.. I wanted to walk and stand beside YOU.. just to feel for seconds.. How you would feel in my arms.. How would you breathe.. How about the sound of the beating of Your Heart.. can I hear it.. will my Heart also make the same sound of Your Heart.. I wanted to get close.. just to see how it would feel.. YOU in my arms.. I wanted you near.. I wanted you close.. I was so close because I would walk but I would stop to step back.. It hurts me because I wanted to feel YOU in my arms.. But I just could not get closer.. Because I knew that YOU would push me to say Back Off.. Just Now How it feels.. Just thinking about YOU.. brings so Much Joy and happiness.. I would smile a lot.. My Heart be moving in a way I just can't control.. my emotions just wants to pour Out to YOU.. I want to stop.. I can't control myself because It has been Hard lately.. Missing YOU is so Hard.. at the same Time.. it brings me a lot of tears.. that I can't stop myself crying.. I don't want to show YOU any more tears.. but It hurts to know that YOU don't want to come close.. so Far.. so Near.. so Close.. the distance between Us.. leaving me to Be hurt.. missing YOU all the time.. but I want to get close.. NO Matter How I feel.. as long as it is YOU.. I will always Love YOU.. don't ask me why do I keep on hurting myself but still loves YOU.. as I am sitting on the Chair.. I am looking at Your Picture.. it is YOU when YOU were with me at the Flower Shop.. holding a flower in Your Hand.. with such a Beautiful Smile.. I remember that it was the day I wanted to show YOU the New Flowers that has been reached the Full Bloom stage.. it was back in the Garden.. the Same camera you were using to take many pictures of the flowers.. I would ask YOU.. take one of the Flowers from the Bed in the back of this Garden.. I watched you lower yourself.. grabbed and pulled the Flower Out.. and telling me that it is this One.. that it is the Most Beautiful One.. Your Favorite and I do remember leading YOU back into the Flower Work Shop.. YOU were standing by the wall.. and Holding the flower in your Hand.. I would have the Camera in my hands.. My eye would look through the lens of the Camera.. I would see YOU.. my finger stopped at the Button.. because what if this be the last picture I could take from this Camera.. this Fear came all over me.. shaking and trembling from the Inside.. I stopped my finger to press.. YOU were wondering why I could not click the Button.. My Heart would skip.. trying to find if there is a Beat.. I would take a deep breathe and my finger presses the Button and the light switches and it takes the Picture of YOU.. when I put the Camera Down.. I am looking at the Wall.. in the Flower Work Shop.. I only see the wall.. I don't see YOU there.. and with me is the Same Picture.. it was the last time I took the picture of YOU because the Next day.. YOU told me that YOU are not going to work with me at the Flower Shop.. that YOU have find someone that YOU love.. and that YOU are going with Him.. and I felt my world turn upside down.. I felt that everything be crumbling.. I saw YOU leave as the Door closes behind me.. I would sit on the Floor.. I would cry Loud and wail More.. I just couldn't control these emotions when it is torn apart.. I would Beat with my hand on my Chest.. I would Hit it so Hard.. I just couldn't stop hitting my Chest.. wanting to Pull my Heart out.. It hurts me because all I see is YOU.. YOU leaving me behind and I am left alone at the Flower Work Shop.. everything began to fall apart.. I started to drink a lot.. heavy into drinking.. crash and burn.. falling apart and falling down.. I just don't wanted to get UP any more.. I just couldn't handle this Kind of Pain.. it was killing me from the Inside.. How can I erase this Pain that is eating me from the Inside.. How can I get rid of this Kind of Hellish Pain.. I just wanted to Die.. for years I felt this way.. I felt like I wanted to give UP.. but.. for some reason.. if I truly love YOU.. I know that I needs to get back UP and try to live.. try to live the best I can.. so that One day I am able to see YOU again and the Day I see YOU.. I will never

Shop.. as I walked inside the Work Shop.. I would stand there alone.. LOOKING at the Wall where YOU would stand.. I would look at the empty Wall.. looking at the picture of YOU holding.. the same spot.. you were standing with a smile holding the flower.. the Last time I saw YOU is when I took this Picture.. it hurts Me more.. I would.. the Flower Work Shop was dark and I would be standing alone.. crying looking at the Picture of YOU.. which it was the last time YOU stood by this Wall.. and I just can't let YOU go.. WHY is it me who has to let it Go.. why is it YOU who has to hurt Me.. why can't I ever hurt you and I would look at the Wall.. where YOU would stand the last time and I would scream because my Heart.. It wanted to shatter into pieces.. WHY did YOU have to leave me for someone else.. WHY can't YOU ever know how much I love YOU.. why don't you see me.. WHY can't you see me as the Person who loves you the Most.. and I would again cry.. looking at the wall.. after looking at the Picture of YOU where YOU once stood by this wall.. I would fall to the ground.. and I just can't.. why can't I just let YOU GO.. it is killing me so Bad.. why can't I let YOU GO.. what is it about YOU holding unto me.. like a stronghold.. and I would cry loud.. wailing.. hitting my hand against my chest.. It hurts me just too much because I want to be loved by YOU.. why can't YOU see me for once.. HOW ABOUT ME.. you know that I can love YOU better.. YOU know that I can love YOU more.. I can even love you stronger.. just please give me a chance.. just one chance.. as I am waiting in the Room in the clinic Office.. I know that I may not live for Long.. because My Heart is broken.. It has been shattered into many little pieces.. YOU have broken my Heart.. If I can't fix my Heart.. what am I going to do with this Shattered of pieces broken Heart that is in me.. If I can't fix it.. Maybe the Doctor can help me to fix IT.. what if the Doctor can't fix my Heart.. I am going to ask the Doctor to go me a Surgery.. because what am I going to do with this Broken Shattered Heart.. I can at least donate it to someone else.. give me a New Heart.. someone else can take my Place.. can Have this Heart.. that someone else can Love YOU instead because I know that I can't.. I don't even know where YOU at so how can I love YOU when YOU are NO where to be found.. and I am lost somewhere.. and I would be sitting on this Chair.. LOOKING at the Picture of YOU.. I sit in silence just thinking of the Flower Work Shop.. I want to go back with YOU.. can YOU please go back with me to this Flower work Shop.. I want to live again.. I want to feel that I am alive again.. I want to breathe again because without YOU.. just look at me at this Point in my Life without YOU.. and as I am looking at the picture.. waiting for the doctor to come into this room.. I am looking at your Picture and speaking to the Picture.. the door Opens but it stops.. I am thinking.. maybe it is another patient who just came into the wrong room and I would open my Mouth.. as I am looking at the picture of YOU.. can we please go back to the Flower Work Shop.. do YOU know that I am still there.. I just could Not move on because I would think about.. what If.. Just in case YOU show UP one day.. what If you come.. what if YOU change your Mind.. what if I come across Your Mind one night.. One Day.. what If you miss Me.. how about if YOU love me.. Not sure why I would think of it that Way but what if you show UP.. I had many chances to leave that Flower work shop.. My friends came.. trying to convince me.. telling me to leave it behind me.. let it be my History.. and I would try to leave that Flower Work Shop.. but always in the back of my Head.. I would be thinking of YOU.. if I do leave.. what if YOU show UP when I do really leave.. then I know that I can't never see YOU again.. I don't want that to ever happen because I miss YOU and I love YOU.. that is why I just can't let it go now.. because I love YOU just too much.. I have been there.. just waiting for the Door to be opened.. for YOU to knock on the door and when I open the door to that Flower Work shop and WHEN I open to see who it is.. I wanted to smile to see YOU there.. standing there.. just giving me even few seconds of your presences.. just to say I love YOU.. just to say I missed YOU.. or to say welcome back.. because I just can't let YOU GO.. Because I never stopped loving YOU.. even now I love you still.. I been waiting so that I can tell YOU how much I love YOU.. as I look up.. I hear the door closed.. and I am thinking.. this whole time the door was opened.. I wonder who it is who hear me speaking to Your Picture.. I wonder who it is.. and the door Opens.. my hand opens and the picture falls to the ground because it is YOU who is standing by the door.. That YOU are the Doctor.. My Doctor there.. I am waiting at the Doctor's office.. I am getting sick.. something has happened to my Heart.. I am wondering if My Heart is broken.. as I am sitting down.. waiting for the Doctor.. I am holding your Picture in my Hand.. I have been looking at this Picture for a Long time.. since I have lost you.. and it is the Picture of YOU.. you are standing by the Wall.. with a beautiful Smile.. I gave YOU a flowers and YOU are holding in your hand.. showing me in the picture of you.. I was so happy when I gave you those flowers in the work shop.. I surprised you that night.. it was before I wanted to ask YOU out.. I wanted to ask if we can be lovers.. and before the questions came about.. and I gave YOU the flowers.. I would watch you holding in your hand.. and I saw you smelling the flowers.. it touched my Heart.. Your nose so close and I saw both of your eyes closing when YOU brought the Flowers closer to your nose.. and right after.. you opened your eyes.. I be holding the camera.. zooming in to get a closer Picture.. I asked if YOU could just smile for me.. YOU are the Most Beautiful when I see you smile.. so I asked.. looking through the lens of the Camera.. I saw you holding the flowers closer and my finger presses and it clicked to take that Picture.. I would put the camera down and I came closer to YOU and I wanted to say but.. YOU told me Not to say it.. Because YOU knew what I was going to say and told me that YOU already have some one who you love.. and that I knew the person well.. I would just stand there.. No words to tell YOU because.. I have been holding this for a long time.. I wanted to tell YOU for a long time.. but I guess holding too long.. and I just could not hold it back.. I want to know.. DO you love Him.. do you think that man can love you more than Me.. if He can love you more than me.. I can back off and just pretend I never told you this.. I want to know what if I can love you More.. I know that I can love you where YOUR Heart can be truly touched.. I know that I can love you because I am already loving YOU.. but pushing me away is not going to solve anything.. but if you know that He can love you more and can make you more happier.. than I have nothing more to say.. But How about my Heart.. how about the Love I have for YOU.. will you please consider this before you can.. and it is the Picture before I wanted to ask.. but I do remember you be telling me that YOU love some one else.. I wanted to walk out of that work shop.. I wanted to leave at that moment because My Heart couldn't handle this kind of pain.. and to heal it takes a long time for me to get over it.. but.. I felt like I should stay.. that may be you would change your mind.. so I just stood and waited.. but I saw YOU looking at me.. giving me back the flowers and I saw YOU walking out of that work shop.. I heard the door behind me shutting down.. holding the flowers in my hands.. why am I holding these flowers for.. I am the one who gave you these flowers.. these are not for me and when I turned my head to look back.. I stood there.. the door was closed and YOU left.. I wanted to cry.. but I wanted to hold my own emotions in and I kept it inside for a while before I wanted to lead it out.. I stood there in the silence.. holding the flowers in my hands.. just did not know what to do any more.. as I am sitting on the chair.. just waiting for the doctor to call my name.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. holding the flowers and just smiling.. Now I am thinking.. and wondering.. what if I did Not say anything.. did Not mention and just stood there and smiled back.. I know that YOU would not left the work shop that night.. you could of still be there with me.. but would I ever be happy just watching you on the side line.. just loving YOU alone.. while YOU have someone who loves YOU and you be loving him back.. What am I suppose to do if I am just another shadow of passing through.. It would be breaking my heart into pieces.. I remember I open my hands and the Flowers all fell to the floor.. hitting the ground.. I dropped to my knees.. beating against my chest and started to cry loud.. wailing louder because of the pains of hitting me so Hard that night.. I did not even leave that work shop.. I would be crying for hours.. just feeling the pain deep within me.. sitting by the wall.. I would be leaning.. and I would sit until the Sun would rise Up.. I just could not work any more.. and wanted to take some time off.. but I could not get up.. sitting there.. looking at the flowers all over the floor of the ground.. I can't believe that this Hurts.. it hurts me much more.. why did I even mentioned if it going to end UP like this.. hurting me like this.. this ache.. this pain of just loving you.. why can't you love me back.. I would yell.. out loud.. why can't you love me back.. what must I do for YOU to notice HOW much I love YOU.. and I would sit still.. could not get up.. just did not want to move.. I did not want to eat anything.. even though I was hungry.. but I sat there.. leaning against the wall.. just thinking